So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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