I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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