The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
