she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
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If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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