scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
