If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
