I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
