Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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