It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize