things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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