i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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