At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
