marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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