somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
