I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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