i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
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Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you never un-have a 4some
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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