haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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