The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
