So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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