weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
