I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
