I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
