like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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