I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
