My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize