My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
