He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
