wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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