there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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