New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
