so explain again why im purple
no
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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