Dual....:-)
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
