Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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