you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize