As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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