ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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