Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
