i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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