I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
