Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
