the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
