apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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