Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Let's paint friendship bongs
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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