In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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