Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Randomize
