he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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