I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize