Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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