No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
