At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
