If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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