thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize