I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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