She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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