i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
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we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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