Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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